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Home » Editorials » WWE Monday Night Raw Results and Review February 11, 2013: Elimination Chamber on the Horizon

WWE Monday Night Raw Results and Review February 11, 2013: Elimination Chamber on the Horizon

John Cena

John Cena is ready, brother.

It’s time for the go home show for the Elimination Chamber pay-per-view. What does that mean? Well, it means basically the same thing as every week. WWE will haphazardly throw together their remaining PPV card at the last minute hoping everyone will still want to buy the card.

They will probably leave more opportunities lying around than actually use them, but they will certainly make you postulate about maybe Undertaker returning and maybe new stipulations for all the different matches. In the end, it will mostly be left unfulfilled.

But have no fear, you’re a wrestling fan. You can deal with it because there’s always hope when a television product goes on every week with major development somewhat promised monthly and guys like the Rock and Brock Lesnar sort of back in the picture.

WrestleMania is on the horizon, so, at the very least, WWE can’t exactly sit on the laurels and wait for the next big thing to appear. It’s time to start moving, somewhat.

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The Dreaded Go Home Show

About Kevin Berge

Wrestle Enigma's voted Writer Of The Year two years running. I am writing to prove a point. The day I stop writing is the day I realize I have nothing more to say, and I don't believe that day will ever come.
  • Judas Thundersteel

    1.) Opening RAW is Paul Heyman! However, with a sad announcement, this RAW being the last time he will be seen. Of course, he’d put himself and his past accomplishments over, with the topic of “passion.” Highlighting ECW, Brock Lesnar, and CM Punk. Heyman mentioned something bad will happen, looking up while saying it (an act of God?). He then admitted to being a distraction to Punk, announcing his resignation. No one shed a tear, and Heyman didn’t like that. Heyman said he loves CM Punk, awww! After Heyman said goodbye, out comes CM Punk. Punk wasn’t down with Heyman’s goodbye, confiding in him like a best friend. Punk said Heyman’s too important to the company, and too the fans. A lot of Paul Heyman guys in the arena (not so true). Punk said the “dream” will end and everything will be back to normal, all this pumping Paul Heyman up. He said he will be in Punk’s corner, and they hugged! Lawler mentioned that Heyman’s actions were done to upstage The Pope. A man that CM Punk called on Twitter, a “Nazi.” Vintage Punk. Anyways, the segment was great, as it sold how close a relationship is Punk and Heyman. It was as heartwarming a moment as when a kid Goku realized he was fighting his grandfather in Dragon Ball (I’m going to try and make more DB series references in the future, I LOVE THEM). Did you see Punk’s eyes, those were so, creepy.

    2.) Well now, selling Rey’s damage from Mark Henry, he’s been removed from the Elimination Chamber. Lawler said the match between Henry and Khali would not last long. It didn’t, Mark Henry went over Khali easily. Henry then had his eyes on Hornswoggle, and did the World’s Strongest Slam on him, all badass like. Some fans even chanted “one more time.” I don’t blame them. “That’s what I do,” that’s a new money quote right there.

    3.) Three years ago, Daniel Bryan’s debut match on WWE TV was against Chris Jericho. The match was awesome for TV. Three years later, Daniel Bryan and Jericho faced again here. This match was just as great in my opinion. The reactions Jericho gets now helped in making the match more loud in noise. Credit to D-Bryan working well with Jericho, making the fans get up on their feet, as it went down the wire. Some great counters to submissions by both men, fast paced action, nearfalls, and a nice sudden go home sequence. For two straight weeks, Jericho’s had the best match of RAW: Punk last week, D-Bryan this week. That’s not just a coincidence. The match made me smile once it finished, so I feel it was powerful.

    4.) So right after a very entertaining match, is a 6 man featuring guys nowhere near Jericho or Bryan’s level. Just as I thought, the match was nothing special. It was designed to show what the 3 muscle faces will do to Shield. Sheamus had the most ring time, just pummeling and stuff, Cena got the tag and did his 5 moves. When the 5th move was about to be done, Sheamus and The Ryback came in to do Irish Curse and Shell Shocked, respectively. All three moves done, match is done. That’s about it, definitely not what I’d want to follow Jericho and Bryan. Anyways, The Ryback got the mic first, overly raspy voice and all. Feast on the Shield. Then Sheamus got the mic, he believes in getting justice tonight. Then Cena got the mic, he talked the most, The Shield meeting “the sword.” While I agree it was a good way to build towards the 6 man, I was too high on Jericho and Bryan to come back down to Earth. Actually, after this match, I came back down to Earth after getting an erection through NSFW searching. Then I continued watching RAW.

    5.) They recapped Show’s embarrassing SD, Lawler was all excited, even though he doesn’t watch SmackDown. Earlier today, Alex Riley and Yoshi Tatsu were talking crap about Big Show. Show came and wasted those guys, which made me laugh as a matter of fact. Striker’s in the ring to interview Big Show, but he got knocked out in the middle of asking the first question. That’s also funny. Big Show couldn’t speak, and he dropped the mic in anger. Fans chanted since he didn’t talk. Heh. That’s what I like, an angry Big Show. I plan on opening up about Big Show in Linhares’ top 10 draws article. I’m late on that I know.

    6.) After the Bruno HOF video aired, Swagger vs. Ryder happened. Following Swagger was some guy named Zeb Coulter, never heard of him. I didn’t know until actually reading somewhere who the guy is. He’s actually the guy behind the glory days of the Knockouts division. Hm. While Ryder did fight back, Swagger dominated most of the match. His Gut Wrench Powerbomb was set up with a dead lift on Ryder. Cesaro would be impressed. Swagger did good, then got the mic to introduce Zeb Coulter. What’s wrong with America? The fans were all “What!” to Zeb, which is silly. Zeb apparently knows Jack’s daddy, as both are Vietnam vets. Hm? Zeb talked him and Jack up as real Americans, “We The People,” a patriotic heel gimmick. Moreso than before. Knowing Zeb is an actual Vietnam war vet now, his words do hit a bit harder. Overall, it’s a pretty interesting team, and could be the piece that gets Swagger over to a higher level. I’m happy for that, Swagger’s primed to have a year of redemption in 2013. If only a certain Viper can get a similar year.

    7.) They recapped the Lesnar angle from last week, keep Brock’s name out there since he’s not on RAW. Miz vs. Rhodes with Cesaro on commentary. There was a “Goldust” chant in the match. The match was short on account of Cesaro trying to interfere. He got a boot to the face, and Miz flipped out on Rhodes. Then, he got shoved into the ring post. Even better, Cesaro swung Miz back and forth against the barricade. Another impressive feat of strength from that man! I loved it. Commenting on Miz’s inadvertent brainbuster on CM Punk. I don’t know who exactly to blame. The producer for suggesting that spot with The Ryback and Cesaro on one side, and Punk/Miz on the other, or Miz himself. In the end, Miz tried a move he’s never done. Furthermore, a move fit for power wrestlers, and Miz is not a power wrestler. This won’t make me like Miz less, but in conclusion, it was risky and dangerous. CM Punk probably didn’t want to blow up in public about it, to avoid rumor spreading and stuff, as he obviously wants to make it to Wrestlemania.

    8.) Tensai and Brodus Clay teaming up against the Colons. The big men destroyed The Colons, which is funny because Cole mentioned before the match that the Colons wanted to reach back into their tag team championship days. As if that mattered. Clay’s girls silenced Rosa, then the big men did it Gangnam Style. Yeah, they are an official tag team now. Good for them, that’s about all I can say.

    9.) The Shield came through the crowd, got microphones. Dean Ambrose led off. Some nice little facial expressions and movement to his promo. Following Ambrose is Seth Rollins, Reigns was next with the shorter talk. They all basically called out the 3 muscle faces, Ambrose said they had empty morals. Rollins implied Cena’s a failure and will fail at Elimination Chamber. Ambrose said Shield don’t like them because he’s a failure. The “John Cena problem” was explained, with The Shield as the solution. Rollings made an interesting point on Cena paving the way for Sheamus and The Ryback, creating a decade of injustice planned to be rectified in one night. Ambrose made an angry concluding statement followed by Reigns’ “BELIEVE IN THE SHIELD!” This was Shield’s first live promo, and it was a great one, all three men were good, with Ambrose the best of the 3. Rollins though was not far behind Ambrose, and I can see the thoughts of Reigns in this segment. The lights went out, came back on, and there are the faces, making The Shield yield to them, through the crowd.

    10.) Damien Sandow came out with a mic, basically shooting down country music, being in Nashville and all. Overly sensitive ignoramuses having their hearts broken, that was funny. “Achy Breaky Heart” by Billy Ray Cyrus was number 1 on the charts. What was number 2? Megadeth’s “Countdown to Extinction” album. POPPYCOCK! What an injustice. Humorous promo, followed by a match between Sandow and Del Rio. Del Rio made short work of Sandow, not as entertaining as the promo, but ah well. After that match, Del Rio said Show gave the best promo of his life earlier. Really? Del Rio said the time for talk is over, and that there is one place he will be going, Wrestlemania. Yeah sure, to lose the world title to Daniel Bryan (fantasy). Actually, while Del Rio got the fans pumped, I think Nashville in general was a tremendous crowd, compared to last week’s Atlanta crowd. I didn’t really think of Del Rio losing the world title, or the Jericho vs. Ziggler idea (not recently I should specify). I predicted right out of this week’s RAW that it will be Del Rio vs. Mark Henry. Del Rio would try and poke fun at Henry, and get a huge target on his back as a result. Or Del Rio vs. Swagger, with a lot of socio-political promos from both men I bet.

    11.) Barrett was walked and got jumped by Bo Dallas, mirroring what happened when Barrett jumped Bo. Oh no. Lawler was paying a lot of attention to Barrett’s jaw, saying it might’ve been swollen. Okay. I figured this match would have Kofi win, as Barrett sold Bo’s beatdown. Well, Wade won, using the ring apron rather uniquely to cover Kofi’s body, followed by the Bullhammer. Kofi loses again, but Wade wins, so, cool. It was a good match, but yeah, they had better.

    12.) Lawler asked who AJ was with last Valentine’s Day. Lawler mentioned Kane, but during that time period, D-Bryan was world champion, with AJ as his girlfriend. I remember. Good times. I was a bit surprised at the response of the crowd during this match. Obviously there’s Dolph Ziggler, but Kane winning made the fans pop. The match was alright, and Kane in the Chamber seems fit since Bryan’s in it. However, that just guarantees Bryan won’t win the chamber, because he and Kane will somehow get themselves eliminated. So the favorite is Mark Henry. AJ tried to interfere in the match, got pushed off the apron accidentally by Ziggler and Big E. saved her, like a true friend would do. I would’ve saved her too. Saved her for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and dessert. All day long, errrrrr. Moving on…

    13.) The Rock gets the closing segment. Of course, Rocky would talk about the city RAW’s in, this time being Nashville. Story time with The Rock. Rock and his family moved to Nashville when he was 15. Oh really? Rock put his 15 year old self over, pretty big for his age. He was listening to Country music with Downtown Bruno. In walked a crackhead (not Jeff Jarrett!) car dealer. Rock got a car, was driving at 15 years old, and in the track, was another crackhead. He ditched that bitch (car) at the parking lot and went to Tootsie’s Lounge. Rock’s first match was in Nashville Fairgrounds. Really? Well the crackhead story probably wasn’t true, and this promo was just comedy Rock. It was funny in the beginning, but thankfully CM Punk came to try and change the tone. Rock got a bit more serious as a result, after referencing Twilight and its relation to the opening RAW segment. Rock wanted to fight, and eventually Punk obliged. Rock was about to do the People’s Elbow, then Heyman stopped Rock, allowing Punk to hit GTS, and taking the WWE title with him. Ah yes, posing with that title, just like the good ol’ 434 days! No Rock last week, then Rock this week sure did hammer into my mind that Rock’s still a part timer through and through. He’s doing good business as champion, but no matter who he drops the title to, it will be a big moment, so whatever annoyances I might have with Rock, just look at the endgame.

    14.) Oh man, I laughed at the Long/Booker/Jericho segment. When Teddy whispered an idea to Booker, I immediately thought “tag team match playa!” The other backstage segments were fine. The one with Ziggler and crew had AJ said “Yoshi Tatsu,” hoping Ziggler would’ve faced him. Hahaha. Vince’s cameo with Heyman was okay. The stipulation makes it so that something screwy might happen. With that, Punk turns Twice in a Lifetime into a triple threat match!!! YES! It was a really good episode of RAW, I hope WWE puts Jericho vs. D-Bryan on Youtube in its entirety. Great read here, now knowing of your humor attempts in this, I’m more receptive of them.

    I somehow got the impression from reading comments on another site, that someone would return on this RAW. I guess it was meant for Zeb Coulter? See, I thought it would be Christian, to fill up a Chamber spot. Dammit.

  • DJ HUK

    Mic line of the night from Seth Rollins: “John Cena is a failure … when he wakes up in the morning and exists,” worthy of Jean-Paul Sartre; I agree, the Ziggler match was a head scratcher–why did he need to be in one of the pods?; AJ is still being mishandled: she spoke one line last night backstage and she’s being made to look like a disease-ridden bimbo: I would really like to see her deliver a few Shining Wizards again (and by the way, what ever happened to the Divas division?) ; Del Rio has the best finisher in the business–he hit that Cross Armbreaker like a marksman last night; the Rock meandered in his storytelling, but CM Punk livened things up as the Universe’s most popular heel; to see the audience chanting “Feed Me, Feed Me” when Ryback was in the crowd aisle was something to behold–Cena and Sheamus paled in comparison; while it’s fun to see Tensai loosening up, I switch channels when Brodus starts shucking and jiving–it’s totally embarrassing; finally, I liked the Reading Kids clip, but wasn’t too sure why those particular superstars were visiting with the children: there was a glimpse of AJ on the promo poster, and she would have been ideal, what with her Geek Goddess persona (and having been an honor student at high school). An overall B-, Raw is still too long of a show.

  • Charlie G

    I think Tensai & Brodus are my new favorite WWE tag team…. I’m liking this Jack Swagger, and hoping he fits in somewhere on the WrestleMania card. Overall, I think RAW was alright..

  • http://twitter.com/JacobJ_Enigma Jaykub StalksAWitch

    It was a good Raw, give it a B but for a go home show, the Rock/Punk stuff should have been waaaay better but I don’t give a shit either way so it doesn’t matter worth a damn.

    Dean Ambrose’s part in that promo was……just……..words cannot describe the level of awesomeness.

  • http://twitter.com/JacobJ_Enigma Jaykub StalksAWitch

    No comment on the final segment except for the fact that Rock mentioning Jarrett clearly connects him to the Aces & Eights and the higher power may be a bigger name then we had ever thought before…

  • http://twitter.com/JacobJ_Enigma Jaykub StalksAWitch

    God that was hilarious seeing Dolph lose AGAIN even with his crew making distractions. Way to book the loser. Love the caption haha

    They could have just had Jericho go out there and counter balance AJ/Big E to make Ziggler look better but the best part…THEY DIDN’T! ZIGGLER LOOKED LIKE SHIT :D

    Made me very happy.

  • http://twitter.com/JacobJ_Enigma Jaykub StalksAWitch

    Way to make Kofi look like a chump. It’s like when Christian still lost even with a huge distraction helping him out. Just dumb. Have Wade beat Kofi then have Bo chase Wade out of the ring or some shit. Whatever, it was meh.

  • http://twitter.com/JacobJ_Enigma Jaykub StalksAWitch

    It’s fucking odd that a Hispanic could get over in Nashville (a hick city) but Del Rio has some natural chemistry that he just gets that reaction…..as a face…as a heel, he’d be lucky to be kinda boo’d at.

  • http://twitter.com/JacobJ_Enigma Jaykub StalksAWitch


  • http://twitter.com/JacobJ_Enigma Jaykub StalksAWitch

    So Tensai is back to being A-Train whose back to being Albert whose back to being the Hip-Hop Hippo like he was when teaming with Scotty Too Hotty? :l

  • http://twitter.com/JacobJ_Enigma Jaykub StalksAWitch

    Fuck that Miz/Rhodes/Cesaro shit….Miz should have done something with Lesnar. Not getting his ass beat by a stick of Swedish glue who he’s gonna job to in the preshow again.

  • http://twitter.com/JacobJ_Enigma Jaykub StalksAWitch

    Yeah that was…..something with Coulter & Swagger. His promo was repetitive as fuck and didn’t really mean dick but if it gets Swagger over or whatever, then fine.

  • http://twitter.com/JacobJ_Enigma Jaykub StalksAWitch

    The heat Show got in that promo. That’s how to you do it, Punk/Heyman. God damn it.

  • http://twitter.com/JacobJ_Enigma Jaykub StalksAWitch

    That squash match was fucking awesome. My favorite part was 3MB standing up to them instead of just being cowards, Mahal slapped Cena in the face; I was like “OOOOOH SHIT ITS ON NOW”. That was very, very entertaining.

  • http://twitter.com/JacobJ_Enigma Jaykub StalksAWitch

    “So this is wrestling? It looks like gay sex between Bon Jovi and a homeless man”

  • http://twitter.com/JacobJ_Enigma Jaykub StalksAWitch

    Henry should just film a thirty minute TV show where he just bodyslams midgets the entire time. Imagine the ratings…holy shit..

  • http://twitter.com/JacobJ_Enigma Jaykub StalksAWitch

    I just….I just have no idea what the fuck was the point of that opening segment? I understand that they can have fun and shit but do it on a throw away show NOT THE GO HOME SHOW!

  • http://twitter.com/TheFrenchWE Mathieu Nicod

    Great review and fun RAW, I’m really excited for the EC PPV =)

  • SiD